Going away? Need help packing? Do you feel strangely overwhelmed by how hard such a simple task feels?
I’ve been to over 13 countries, travelled independently since I was 16, and been on more trips, holidays and adventures than anyone else I know — and yet, I still suck at packing —especially packing as a neurodivergent traveller.
Why packing is overwhelming for neurodivergent travellers
Packing requires so many skills that I just don’t feel natural.
Executive dysfunction
This is more than just not being able to prioritise and organise. It is being crippled by not knowing where to start, by not being able to decide, by not being able to compare or contrast, and by not being able to choose.
Predicting the future
As a neurodivergent person, we are exceptional at pattern recognition but can also be overwhelmed by future planning. We can establish why and how; if I do this now, it will impact this then. We can see the dominos of life. However, this becomes entirely overwhelming, and we don’t always know where to stop.
I was recently buying a car and got so caught up in my future casting that I started considering the supply chain for car parts if we ended up in a world war. Like — would I still be able to get a fan belt?! That’s how my brain works. It doesn’t just plan — it spirals.
This ability to consider everything is both a superpower and a curse when it comes to packing.
So how on earth are we expected to find packing easy while considering:
- our sensory needs
- the social or activity demands of the trip
- the weather
- the trip length
- whether we’ll have access to a washing machine
- what shoes we’ll need (and if you’re a woman, you know this is a whole thing)
- and how to choose clothes that are varied and match together?
It’s no wonder we either pack way too much or totally freeze and pack nothing at all.
I have good news though; I think I’ve mostly worked packing out now!
These systems might not all work for you, but with your incredible abilities in analysis (you might not think you have it because you can’t play chess, but if you can pick the bad guy at the start of a movie when no one else can, you do!) you’ve got everything you need inside who you are already!
Making a list
This is a good place to start, and whether you have ADHD or are Autistic, I’m pretty sure we all love a good list. However, do not spend all your energy on writing the list and then not actually implementing it. I suggest you write it at an entirely unrelated time to when you plan to start packing.
Straight after the shower when you’ve just had all those brain waves build up and no place to put them is a good option. Or right before bed when everything is rolling around in your head like a jar of marbles. Write the list away from the packing time. Unless you are feeling particularly hyper-focused and inspired, in which case – go ahead, and smash the whole thing out.
What do you need on your list?
The first thing about writing a packing list isn’t to start writing down what you need, but actually what is expected.
We are context-driven, which is why we often overplan or overthink.
Are you going for a month, a week, or a weekend? This changes things dramatically. What types of activities will you be doing, sightseeing, social, or spa vibes?
On the top of your list – so that it is something you always come back to refocus on:
📅 Trip length: How many days? Will you have access to washing?
🧭 Activities: What types of things will you be doing (e.g. sightseeing, social events)?
☀️ Weather: Temperature range, chance of rain, wind, or cold evenings.
Now you have your list of expectations.
I’ll provide an example of my upcoming trip’s expectations.
- Going from Thursday to Monday – 5 days, 2 travel days, 3 actual days – no washing.
- Dinner with friends (smart casual), engagement party (fancy), shopping (casual but comfortable), an afternoon with a friend (cute casual).
- Weather 22, 24, 24, 24, and 23 degrees – all sunny, no real wind, no rain – dropping to 16 degrees at 9.30 pm (unlikely out late most evenings).
What clothes match those parameters?
Start with the event/s are they are most likely the reason why you are travelling and should be considered first. If you have more than one event, can you wear the same thing twice, or do you need different outfits?
In January, I travelled to a seminar and camp (a week total) and created specific outfits for each day depending on the weather and events occurring. Was I on stage, were we going bushwalking? I then had a second week away where I just re-wore the range of clothes I had planned for in the first week. Packing had never been better! Anything I wore at the seminar would double as a nice outfit to go out in with friends in my second week, and anything I wore on camp would be good for sightseeing, exploring or hanging out at my friend’s place.
For my upcoming trip, the only ‘event’ I need to consider is the engagement party.
- Blue sequin dress, black shoes, DG handbag, warm coat.
Now with everything else, I am free to decide more broadly. This can be hard though. I have so many clothes I love, but how do I pick just the things that will work for this trip? You have to bring it back to what you are doing, and what is the weather.
For a longer trip, you may not be able to work out what you are doing day by day, but you can consider the range of activities and pack an appropriate number of outfits for that type of activity depending on its frequency.
For example, if you are going around Europe for a month, the majority of your clothes would be for sightseeing and you may have a few dining-out outfits and a few comfortable clothes for staying in.
Common outfit categories to pack for:
- Sightseeing – Comfortable, photogenic clothes with layers and a practical bag.
- Staying with friends – Safe, cozy, re-wearable outfits.
- Shopping – Smart-casual with comfy shoes and free arms.
- Adventure – Activewear, swimmers, hats, hiking boots.
- Dining out – Dressier outfits, warmer layers, and nice shoes you can still walk in.
Now I have a very limited plan of what I am doing whilst I am away on this trip, so I am going to ensure I am packing for the things I know, and then fill in the blanks. For a short trip, I like to do this day by day, for a long trip I would do it genre by genre (as above).
Thursday – Evening travel, staying with friend (travel outfit)
Friday – Shopping, evening dinner with friends (nice dinner outfit), games at home (pjs or dinner outfit)
Saturday – Day unknown (shopping?), afternoon engagement party (engagement outfit)
Sunday – Morning in, afternoon with friend (smart casual)
Monday – Day unknown, evening flight (travel outfit).
Now I know I need:
- Travel outfit I can wear there and back
- Nice dinner outfit
- Hang out with friend’s outfit
- Engagement outfit
- Shopping outfit that is adaptable for whatever I may do during the days
Now you have a list of what outfits you need, you just need to decide on what you will choose for them. I know that is the hard part but I can’t look into your wardrobe and see your clothes. I also don’t know what gives you the ick.
For me, I hate pants right now, can’t stand them! But with temperatures in the mid-20s, I can probably get away with not needing to wear any. However, my travel outfit will include soft loose pants which provide a bit more warmth.
Packing with Sensory Needs in Mind
When you really don’t know what to take, for example, I don’t know where I am going with my friend on Sunday so I can’t pack for the place. What I do, is make sure I am packing for the feeling.
How do I feel when I am with that person? What type of things do we often do? My Sunday friend gives me high-tea and second-hand shopping vibes with ‘Melbourne brunch’ style restaurant feels. So, I will make my outfit fit that feeling. This helps simplify packing.
Dinner on Friday will be at a restaurant I am familiar with, (if you aren’t you can always google the place to look at the decor, chairs and acoustics). We will be going to a Chinese restaurant, it is loud, has plastic but comfortable chairs and can be cold (concrete floor and floor-to-ceiling windows). Therefore, I want to look nice, but maybe this will be the time I need a longer skirt, to not stick to the chair, and also be a bit warmer.
If packing feels overwhelming, if you don’t know something, find out more.
Find out what the place looks like, match the décor if you want, and see what the chairs are like; you don’t want to be in stilettos on a stool.
Use your incredible ability to perceive visual information and translate that into what that venue will likely be like to inform your outfit. And if you don’t know what you’re doing, think about how you want to feel, what feeling you want, and dress to that.
Create a colour scheme so things match.
For easier packing on short trips, choose a colour scheme and pick things that work with that. For example, if your outfits are mostly soft pinks, muted blues and greens then you can go with neutral shoes and bags. If you are going very black and white and pops of colour, choose a bright statement piece.
Try to work out if your colours are warm or cool. It is much easier to match accessories to either warm or cool rather than mixing a hot pink dress with a brown bag.
Packing for this trip, I went with cool colours so the same accessories could work with most items.
The extras
The extras are often where your packing explodes. It is in the shoes, the bags, the accessories, the electronics and so on where everything gets a little nutty.
Shoes
My advice for a short trip is to choose one pair of heels (or nice shoes) that go with everything. For me it was my black courts, they would go with my Friday night dinner dress, my engagement party dress and even my Sunday friend dress if I wanted to dress it up. Otherwise, I was going to be in my white runners. I could take some sandals too that would adapt with these things in case I got tired of my heels but it depends on how dressy you want to be.
Electronics
If you think you’ll use it, you probably won’t. Be honest with yourself.
Your laptop just in case you want to do some work – not going to happen. Unless you desperately need something, just take your phone and your charger and leave the rest at home. Even your iPad for the plane is a waste on a small flight, just use your phone.
Toiletries
I understand we often need makeup, jewellery, hair products etc. but try to keep it simple, take travel-sized items and be realistic. Are you going to do your makeup with 47 colour palettes, or can you just take a few small eyeshadows? And unless you are going on a very relaxing trip, no you will not have time for the face mask you’ve been meaning to use – don’t bother.
Things to remember
You know what is best for you. Packing just gets overwhelming because you can’t see the future and you don’t always know what to expect. But to keep things simple, try to refine the extras – the bags, the shoes, the electronics, the hair and makeup. Then you have the space to bring that extra cardigan or ‘just in case’ jeans.
On the trip I just went on, I managed to keep my clothing simple, and I didn’t have a problem right until 3 p.m. on the last day when I got a bit cold. I therefore put my stockings on under my travel pants and added one of my husband’s pullovers, and I was fine for the flight out.
You often need less than you take, and unless you are a stinky boy, you can often re-wear things.
Pack for the event. Match your outfits to your shoes. Consider the weather. Leave the rest at home.
Packing can be hard, but you have everything you need in that incredible neurodivergent mind of yours. Every strength is a weakness, every weakness is a strength. Being able to identify everything and future-cast is incredible, but often overwhelming. Find the balance — you’ve got this!
For more on living life better check out Life Hacks to Navigate a Neurotypical World