My whole life is a combination of life hacks. I am constantly, always, forever, looking for ways to make my life easier, more productive and most of all, help my brain exist in this world that makes no sense to me.

I am neurodivergent, which is an umbrella word for all people who are labelled, quirky, different, strange or unusual. We are usually honoured with titles such as ADHD, autism, or dyslexia. It doesn’t matter so much which title we have though, this umbrella term simply explains that we are wired differently.

Neurodivergent Wiring System

It’s like when you have to travel to America and take an adaptor for your electrical items. Neurodivergent people run our wiring system on 240 volts, whilst the rest of the world runs on 110 volts, meaning we need an adaptor, a life hack, for almost every function that the majority of people just plug in and go for.

Translation System

My first set of life hacks revolve around my my translation system. This is constantly running in the background of every social interaction. To understand what a neuro-a-typical person says, I have to decipher their meaning, translate it, and then respond appropriately. This isn’t so much a life hack but a necessity, as without this translation system running, misunderstandings and literal responses to figurative questions or worse, rhetorical questions can end you up in very awkward social situations.

The ways in which this can drain someone who is neurodivergent is because we are woefully fearful of being misunderstood. People so often misunderstand us that we over-explain, only to be shunned for talking too much.

The amount of time I spend reading, re-reading and getting others to read my emails, my text messages is insane. This all just in case I haven’t been clear, just in case something has come across as rude or blunt or unprofessional… maybe I overdo it, but whenever I don’t, I find myself in trouble.

So rather than just communicate in a way that works for us, we have to play these games we find infuriating. Games like ‘I am going to ask you how you are, but I don’t really care because it is just a social greeting, we’ve all decided to use when greeting someone. But ‘how are you?’ isn’t actually a question.’ I simply can’t. I just can’t!

I cannot be asked how I am without answering honestly. It fills my body with this itchy, bugging, nails on chalkboard level of discomfort. When I say ‘good thanks, how are you?’. The words stick in my mouth like a lie. They cause physical discomfort in the hypocrisy of the fact that, upon meeting, we are both going to lead with a lie. I just can’t do it.

So, my first life hack as a neurodivergent person is – just don’t do it. Own it, accept it, be it. Don’t apologise for answering a social que with an answer.

Firstly, it’s a silly system, secondly, the honest and disarming nature of your response may allow another person to feel more comfortable being honest themselves. Who knows, you might be so open that you might just allow someone else to be open too.

Due to the world we live in, you will often still need to run your translation system in most interactions. But every little piece you can reduce, every small change where you can just be more of yourself and less masked, the less exhausted you will become.

Life Hacks for Sensory Overload

Every sense in my body is hypervigilant. Clothes often feel fine, until they don’t. Waistbands feel like a corset, wool is like wearing a coat of a thousand fire ants, scarves choke, hats squish your brain, hair-ties pull, pants are always too tight, but with dresses you are cold.

That light breeze might as well be a hurricane and the sun everyone is enjoying burns your eyes like you are staring right into it.

In a café, the child in the restaurant smashing their utensils against the table might as well be ACDC. The background music is so loud you are unable to zone out from the lyrics, whilst simultaneously trying to listen to the person in front of you. And the food you are served, even though you asked for them to be separated on the plate, is always presented in a leaning tower of Pisa; that means your chips are now inedible, and you have to send your schnitzel back because the sauce touched the salad!

The Life Hacks for The Senses are Numerous:

Grocery Shopping Life Hacks

To survive a trip to the grocery store, you must; wear closed toe shoes to avoid the irrational fear of the trolly running over your feet, a big jumper even in summer or you will become disproportionately grumpy in the freezer section, and earphones to block out the supermarket radio and the loud yet inaudible PA announcements. If it’s a really challenging day, sunglasses should be worn inside too which can help with the florescent light. A shopping list is a must, and starting at one end and finishing at the other is mandatory.  

Eating Out Life Hacks

I often decide on the restaurant. Yes, it means more mental load—more effort—but it also allows me to find the most non-offensive restaurants. You can choose the same restaurant over and over, and that can be good sometimes, but if you lie further to the ADHD side than the ASD (Autism) side, you may be bored of that.

Firstly, the way to find out about a restaurant for me involves looking at Google images, I also use Google Maps, and maybe a short social media stalk.

The things I look for in a restaurant may not be the same things as what offend you, but here’s my list:

1. Accoustics – Is the space insulated well against sound? Has it got drapes and fabric, carpet or concrete, open space or sections?
2. Times – When is it most busy? Do people look squished together when they are seated? What times do they have the fewest customers?
3. Comfort – What are the chairs like? Are there stools (which I hate)? Are there high chairs (which I also hate)? Do they have metal framed seats (which leave ridges in your bum)? Have they got cushions I could use? Do they have bench seats (where I will not have autonomy over how close to the table I sit)?

PSA – Dear Restaurants and Cafés:
Please just give us chairs—simple, comfortable chairs—and stop with the stools, benches, and high tables. They are uncomfortable.

• Menu – Are there safe foods on the menu, foods that no matter my mood I will be happy to eat? Are there at least three things I would enjoy? Of those three things, will I be happy spending however much they cost? E.g. I like steak and chips but I am rarely content spending $40 on it at a pub.
• Distance – How far away will I have to travel? If I have low energy or am feeling overstimulated, are there alternative ways to get there without causing anxiety? E.g. public transport. Is it in a location I am familiar with so parking etc will be effortless?

Getting Dressed Life Hacks

This one varies depending on need and occasion. I have uncomfortable clothes I can deal with for a fancy occasion, but I have jeans that touch me too tight sometimes.

Safe Clothes Life Hacks

I have a selection of ‘safe clothes’ which are comfortable clothes to wear around the house that I don’t need to think about. These are often repeated and ugly, but they are comfortable beyond all else. This will be things like pyjamas with soft wastelands (for when my endometriosis is sore), oversized t-shirts, jumpers without hoods, and soft fabrics.

I also have safe work clothes. Ones that I don’t need to wear a bra with, mostly dresses which flow from the waste so I can be unrestricted if bloated (again, endometriosis). They are also free from tags, seams and tightness and can all be worn with comfortable shoes.

Then, winter happens. This can become more challenging. I do have some safe work pants, but I also go through phases where I hate wearing pants and stockings are no better, but it is too cold to have nothing. For these times I have pants that look like professional bottoms but are made from almost jegging material which are very comfortable. If you don’t have something like this, find some.

Fancy Dress Life Hacks

Provided I am neither hot nor cold in my outfit. In the lead-up to your event, actually go outside in the forecasted temperature in the outfit or similar amount of clothes you plan to wear to the event.

Anyway, the life hack for fancy dressing is to plan three outfits, choose one.

The trick is, for your favourite choice, wear it for half an hour earlier in the day – that might be putting it on whilst you do your hair, or when you are watching TV, or even as you are putting out the washing (don’t do anything messy). If you are able to handle it for those thirty minutes, you should be okay for the event. If not, scale down to one of your other options and don’t be disappointed in yourself – that’s why you have back-ups.

The other thing you can do is aim on making it more comfortable. For example, I am going to a friend’s engagement party on the weekend and fear I will be cold. I will wear my dress whilst I can, but I will take a really pretty coat so when I inevitably get cold later, I don’t feel like I’ve wasted my outfit covering it up because my coat will be really pretty too.

Focus Life Hacks

Then there’s the life hacks for focus. I like to focus on one thing for as long as humanly possible, before moving on to the next thing. I will not use the toilet or get water if I am focused in on something because the minute I get up, I will lose my focus and my mind will wander to its other priorities it cannot prioritise. Transitions are my enemy. Interruptions might as well be a distraction on the battlefield.

Bulk or Batch Life Hacks

To ensure I do everything I need to do without this distraction. I bulk or batch everything I possibly can in my life. Cleaning, studying, working, making phone calls. I hate phone calls and especially hate making appointments. So, I pile them all up, sit down with a cup of tea and do fifteen in one go.

I prefer to ruin one day with hold music than fifteen.

Planning is important too. Plan once, do once, work off the plan. I will sit down and make a meal plan for my week and not have to think about it again. This plan will include a few meals made that night of, but most will come from previously made freezer meals and that week’s batch cook up.

Batch cooking allows me to be present, and focused on cooking and nothing else for a large chunk of time. Sometimes I will make three meals, enough for 20 dinners or more in one day. One pot meals are the best, curries, bolognaise, chilli, soups and stews. This allows plan once, do once, work off the plan.

Neurodiverse Life Hacks

Life hacks for me; I have one for almost everything the majority of people just do. Social interactions, talking, shopping and cooking and controlling my focus. I spend so much time implementing new systems, catered to the way my brain works that I have a hack for everything.

You might feel the same way. And yes, it does suck that just to survive in this world, we have to work so much harder. We need to create systems and options and processes that other people simple just do. But do you know what? We are also really good at creating procedures, we pick up on patterns, we learn what works and what doesn’t and we can more effectively analyse past behaviour and implement appropriate change because of these skills.

The more you embed these life hacks into your daily practice, accepting them not as a crutch or need but as a support and system – you will have a much better relationship with them, and likely be able to manage your life in a more fun way.

So my advice on life hacks… My life, is a life hack.

For more on being Neurodivergent, have a read of this post on resistance to change or Packing For Neurodivergent Travellers

Also, check out my YouTube playlist on neurodiversity.